My Almost Birthday

So tomorrow is my birthday...and I'm not even excited. What is wrong with me? It's definately not an age thing, I could care less. But usually I am so pumped up that I'm talking about it weeks before hand and the festivities carry on for nearly a month! I'm just so blah about it this year. It's gotta be that Granddaddy is so sick, only thing I can figure. Less than a month ago, his heart doctors told us there was nothing they could do for him..and now it seems that there's something else going wrong with him all the time. My heart just isn't in to the festivities. We had dinner and cake at my moms (Brett made an awesome chocolate cake with melted Hershey bars for icing, yum) and I got lots of cool gifts (a Prada purse, yay me) but still I struggled all the way through it. I'm getting Facebook birthday messages already and I know people will be calling/texting/emailing tomorrow expecting me to be my usual excited self. I just don't know if I can be! It's almost as if I feel guilty for going on with my life, celebrating it, when his is coming to an end. I'm not the person to keep things in perspective in any case. I can know something logically but still not be able to handle it emotionally. I wish I were different in that way, but thats just me. No point in blabbering on about it I guess, so here's hoping for a "happy" birthday for myself!